Plain English please

I’m always on the look out for examples of writing, good and bad.  So finding both in the space of a few lines is a real bonanza.

Starting strong is one of my mantras so I was pleased to see this letter that came through my door recently from an estate agent did. The first line was:

Property prices are rising in Calabria Road.

Brilliant.  That’s just what I’m interested in, regardless of whether I actually want to sell my humble abode or not.

Then I hit the second sentence and it all went wrong:

International investment continues to dominate the London property market. We are seeing a rise in cash buyers from overseas, as well as local applicants who have sold their propertise and are looking to reinvest in the area.

Eh? How did we get from my road to international investment? That’s too big a leap for me. And then it carries on, talking about people I’m not interested in.

The writer fails to maintain the link with the reader that they set up in that first line.

So the moral of the story? It’s vital to start strong but then you have to carry on!

(See more top tips on writing here.)

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